Instagram is just Instagram?
Then why does it feel so toxic right now? I've had conversations about this in the past. When you post a story to just share and you acknowledge its impermanence, A post is just a post to share. It’s an enjoyable thing. It is exciting and it has no attachments. When you post to “THE FEED” it’s a totally different game at that point. The gratification you didn’t think you wanted starts to become something you didn’t even know existed, an overwhelming feeling that happens because you get that instant gratification, and then you want more. The toxicity is me. And I know this because at my best I’ve had debates about how “all this is, is a sharing platform. If you overthink each post then, of course, it becomes overwhelming.” I think naturally I don’t overthink as much as other people so I don’t feel the burden of Instagram as strongly as others. But after starting this blog for some reason Instagram became more of the focus than this actual blog. Like a black hole out of my control just getting sucked into it. When I think about this blog or sit down to edit it, it’s fun, it's light, it feels like that outlet I wanted. When I apply the photos to Instagram… I feel like those lost souls in the movie Soul just fucking walking around aimlessly with my head down repeating “make a trade”. And silly me to think I was just not that pessimistic … This is crazy to think about because why did it take me this long to feel it? Is it out of all of our control? I mean I know there are documentaries on this but and it’s nothing new but I completely understand how the like button is ruining society. I tried to find a way to take off likes so that I wouldn’t feel so sucked in, so the pictures can just be pictures instead of my ego tricking myself into thinking my creativity makes or breaks my soul. Oh how the lines get blurred when your creating something. Or how we can fool ourselves into thinking we’re suppose to be at the end of a goal we are just starting. But back to Instagram- Are we as a society this weak? Just the simplicity of a like button breaks our hardwiring. Also, the constant reminder that we’re all just overstimulated and likes mean nothing is a problem within itself. There is so much content that people DONT have the time to care about pressing the like button. We are on to the next. I know because I barely like anyone’s shit. And it has nothing to do with that person or their post. It takes more effort to like someone’s post than to just move on. Like first you have to think that person is an okay person, then you have to stare at it and take it in for what it is, and then double click, like DOUBLE CLICK? (obviously, it’s not that hard but that is the broken down effort) vs just saying “that’s cool” in my head and moving on. and by that nature, what is even the point of likes. THERE SHOULD BE NO LIKES. but there also should be no control just because I can’t control myself.
When you are actively trying not to be on your phone and you are looking to interact with the present, you notice how many people are just glued to that comfort of pushing away the insecurity to interact. So I did this yesterday and because everyone was on their phone I started editing photos and GOD it felt like a warm blanket. A fucking warm blanket. And I remember thinking “holy shit.” And then when I went home all I could remember were the times I wasn’t covered by that warm blanket. The times socializing or playing catch or interacting.
Self-control is the root of happiness. If social media is speeding up time like they say it is, then how many people are going to be on their death beds with nothing to remember. How many people are going to clench to life and fear death because we didn’t experience enough? I bet hospice in 30 years is going to be filled with nurses trying to overmedicate panic attacks. Oh, the irony of living longer by modern technology just to die the age you discovered it. And how lonely that feels. To think I have to practice self-control to be present in a room full of people on their phones.
This blog entry itself adds to the problem.
Maybe I just need a bike ride. Maybe that’s the reason behind show seekers. It forces you to be in the moment. The blaring music, the dancing, you have no choice. Concerts are essential.
I guess join me and go outside. Maybe leave your phone somewhere you can’t reach it? Delete whatever social media you feel like you overindulge in for a day? Feel something. Even if that feeling is the pull towards downloading the apps again, at least you can acknowledge how it makes you feel.
